Ideal marriage.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." The subject of this passage is Ideal matrimony; or, God's idea of the marriage state. As we look into it, our convictions will deepen that the Divine idea is but very partially, if at all, developed in the matrimonial alliances of modern society. What is marriage? It comes not within the limits of our purpose or space to enter into a full discussion of the grand subject of human marriage. Our readers will find a very learned and exhaustive treatment of this question in Dr. William Smith's 'Dictionary of the Bible.' Our remarks must be confined entirely to those phases of the subject which the passage under review suggests. On all hands it is admitted that marriage—that is, the union of one man to one woman—is a Divine ordination. Some philosophers see the principle of matrimony running through all nature, not only in the sexual distinction of all animals, but in the sexual form of all kinds of vegetable life. But the Bible is our authority. The Divine institution of marriage is clearly taught, both in the Old and the New Testaments. In the opening pages of the Divine volume we read these words, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." And in the New Testament we have these words from the lips of the Son of God himself, "Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:4-6). What does the text teach concerning marriage? It teaches—
I. That marriage implies MORAL ROYALTY ON THE PART OF THE HUSBAND. Wives are here commanded to submit themselves unto their husbands "as unto the Lord." The husband is here called the "head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church," and the apostle concludes the paragraph by saying, "Let the wife see that she reverence her husband." The idea of supremacy, therefore, on the part of the husband is manifest throughout the passage. But what is the rule to be? Not the rule of superior muscular force or intellectual power. Such a rule would be despotism and nothing less. The apostle teaches here that the husband's rulership should be similar to that rulership that Christ holds over the Church.
1. The husband is to rule by moral influence. How does Christ rule the Church? Not by force, but by love; by the royalty of his character, the sublimity of his thoughts, the Divine grandeur of his aims. The Church bows lovingly to his authority, because of the supremacy of his excellence. Thus the husband is to rule the wife, for "the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church." It is only as the wife sees in her husband true moral grandeur that she can bow loyally to his scepter and feel a loving reverence in her heart.
2. The husband is to rule for beneficent ends.
II. That marriage implies MORAL LOVABLENESS ON THE PART OF THE WIFE. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies." If the wife is to be loved, she must be lovable, for it is as impossible for the human mind to love the morally unbeautiful as it is to believe a mathematical contradiction. There are women who are morally hideous, and from whom all manly natures must revolt with disgust. What is the truly lovable in a wife? Personal beauty? This may fascinate the eye for a short time, but it has no power to generate moral esteem. Brilliant genius or sparkling accomplishments? No; these may charm the fancy, but never evoke the true germ of manly love. What is the lovable? The text suggests two of its elements.
1. A vital sympathy with the spirit of a true husband. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church." The true husband we have described: he is a royal man, who rules by moral influence for beneficent ends in the spirit of self-sacrificing love; and the true wife must have such a vital sympathy with that high moral spirit of his as to make the "twain one flesh." His aims are elevated, his spirit is Christ-like, and her whole heart being in vital accord with his, they are "no more twain, but one flesh." God, not priests nor hireling registrars, has joined them together.
2. A love-centralizing power of character. There must be that fascination and bewitchment of moral spirit about her that will draw the affections of her husband from all the dearest of other objects, and center them on herself. "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh." He should discover in her virtues so numerous and strong as to draw his sympathies even from the nearest of his other relations and center them on her, feeling that he can repose in her his utmost confidence and bestow on her his choicest love.
CONCLUSION. It is obvious that the world abounds with spurious marriages. The popular idea of marriage is a legalized union of one man to one woman. Though the union may be formed by mere sensual impulses and selfish considerations, it is still called a marriage. Though it be formed, not only without any relative fitness between the parties conjoined, but with a painful discrepancy in temper, age, health, education, it is still called a marriage. Though it be formed without any element of moral excellence as a foundation, and without mutual love for virtue—simply because no mutual virtue exists—still it is called a marriage. The woman may be destitute of every high quality, immersed in sensuality and pride, still at the altar the man pledges to her his love; and the man may be a little soul, in every respect inferior to the woman, yet at the altar she pledges him reverence and obedience. Nothing is more baneful to a country than the corruption of the marriage institution. The law of England, alas l unites brutes and fiends together as well as saints.
"For marriage is a matter of more worth
Than to be dealt in by attorneyship:
For what is wedlock forced, but a hell,
An age of discord and continual strife?
Whereas the contrary bringeth forth happiness,
And is a pattern of celestial bliss."
(Shakespeare.)
D.T.
HOMILIES BY W.F. ADENEY